Thursday, June 26, 2008

FUNNIEST DIVORCE LETTER !!

One of my friend emailed me this and i thought it was stupid... so decided to put it up...


Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband


P.S.
Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!



Dear Ex-Husband -

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MYSISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.


Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!


P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Why??

Why do we ((sleep)) in [[temple]],
But stay ((awake)) through a [[2 hour movie]]?
Why is it so ((hard)) to talk about [[God]],
but so ((easy)) to talk about [[sex]]?
Why are we so ((bored)) when we look at a [[Religious magazine]],
but find it ((easy)) to read [[Playboy]]?
Why is it so easy to ((ignore)) a [[Godly]] myspace bulletin,
Yet we ((repost)) the [[nasty]] ones?
Why are ((temples)) getting [[smaller]],
But ((bars and clubs)) are [[growing]]?
Why is it so easy to purchase {beer} and {wine}?
But so hard to donate 25 cents for a {Charity}?
Why is it so easy to worship a {Celebrity}?
But very difficult to engage with {God}?
Think about it, are you going to repost this?
Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at?
The Lord said:
If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my faith

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Phua Chu Kang explaining sex to Aloysius...

Phua Chu Kang
best in Singapore and JB,an some say Batam


Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to
Chu Beng's son, Aloysius...
Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws, same like when you dig your
nose with your finger mah!
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel
better than your finger, right?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped?
PCK : Ai-yah! Say, you walk along the load,den someone come over and
dig your nose, you like or not? Ehhh? Don't pray pray ah...
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her
menses?
PCK : Oy!! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow
ah!!blain, use your blainnn.....
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are
making love?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove
on your finger or not? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or
not?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn. you go and dig
your nose in flont of your whole class izit? Stupid lah!!
Aloy : Wah...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah...... best in Singapore and JB,an some say Batam also
ah!!!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Hotel California Iban "Drunked" Version





Hotel California Iban "Drunked" Version... It was gawai eve...

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Ibans (picture)

This is the life of the my people, The Iban Tribe, located in Sarawak, Borneo Island.




This is the "Ruai" where the long house people do their gathering and stuff....